You put it all in the love that you deserve.
When you hit your lowest lows, and that shame starts creeping in, you turn it into self-love that equates to the kindness and grace you believe others deserve.
The game of hiding things, of holding secrets, is fun at first. I'm fooling others, I've got it under control, no one has to know, it's like a game and I'm winning...
No one wins. It's not a fun game to play because it's one you play by yourself.
Visit that dark side, go on and have a good cry.
When you're there, and when you decide to leave, recognize the amount of help you've given others. You've given it to me. So much. Give yourself permission for that same love.
I can't say "Do what makes you happy." Not during a pandemic. Not during a Trump presidency. Not during a pulled-back curtain of systemic racism. But I can say do what helps you the most.
Nature has always pulled you in. Moonlit walks. Camping trips. Your body floating on the ease of currents. The sun on your skin. Your closed eyes, raised cheeks, and widened smile - It's always been your calling. You're tired, and that's fair. Recharge. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself.
You can't control how another person acts, only your actions beforehand and as a result of.
Don't let yourself hit rock bottom before you give yourself a fighting chance. Keep the game going. Keep playing, but invite others in once in a while.
12:03 a.m. - 2020-07-09
Recent entries:
I hate you. - 2021-03-12
Leave What's Heavy Behind - 2020-07-09
Talk Less, Smile More - 2020-07-04
Golden Hour - 2020-06-09
Forward, March. - 2020-06-08
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